The Dangers of Text Based Communication
by Pheasant Plucker
Summary: Abby gets frustrated and decides to introduce Ducky to some modern technology, he immediately grasps its potential for unprofessional behavior.


**For my husband, an Abby/Ducky shipper. No really, it works! They are the only two psychologically healthy people on the show, they naturally fit together. **

* * *

"Ducky, this is NOT working!" Abby rounded the corner into autopsy. "I just spent the last half hour looking for the one result you already have!"

Dr Mallard looked up from his work, the first of three bodies, all from one crime scene, all apparently unscathed except for a few minor cuts and scratches.

One had a previous smuggling conviction, and the only prints at the scene where on the bodies, and all but one set belonged to the bodies. That's all they knew. He and Abby should have been working closely on something like this, but the intercom in autopsy was broken, Jimmy was sick, and Abby was not impressed.

"I'm sorry my dear, I've been rather busy down here without an assistant."

"I'm fixing it." She said determinedly, picking up the intercom.

Two minutes later she gave up.

"Not gonna work Ducky, it's dead. I'm getting you a web chat program."

"Be my guest"

She sat down at his laptop and quickly started.

Five minutes later, she'd set it up.

"Ducky! Here? Just for a minute?"

He carefully removed his gloves then came over, rested a hand on her shoulder and listened.

"Okay, this is me, she pointed to an icon of a cute toddler with black feather wings. This is Tim (an icon of his beloved dog), and this is you (an icon of a risqué novelty rubber duck). You just click on the person, then type in the box, okay?"

"That seems simple enough"

"Tell that to Gibbs! Now, whenever you get something, send it to me."

"I will"

She looked at his attire and decided against a hug, instead leaning quite a distance to avoid his gown, then kissing his cheek.

* * *

The afternoon went well. After Abby found cobra venom, and Ducky found a very minor but strangely symmetrical cut on a hand, the whole thing unfolded quickly, several more bites were found and the venom was identified as being from two species, the philippine cobra and the Australian death adder.

The missing set of prints belonged to a known exotic animal smugger who had probably dumped the bodies after an accidental death. The car, containing several exotic species in boxes, and several broken boxes, was found not far away. The missing smuggler was probably in Mexico by now, but that was a job for agents.

Abby and Ducky had done their job and happily went home.

* * *

An hour later Abby got out of the shower and turned on her computer, there was a little picture of a mildly obscene rubber duck. She was surprised, but somewhere very deep in the back if her mind, she couldn't deny hoping.

_~Rabbyd~: Hey Ducky! u shouldn't leave it on when ur not there, it gets a girls hopes up! ;-)_

She was more surprised when an answer appeared immediately.

_DM: Actually, I was about to write to you. Thanks to your hard work, our man was caught at the airport._

~Rabbyd~: ur work u mean!

DM: I'll agree to take part of the credit if you'll do the same.

~Rabbyd~: deal!

~Rabbyd~: what r u up to?

DM: Very little, you?

_~Rabbyd~: u dont have a date?_

_DM: Are you surprised?_

~Rabbyd~: I was trying to imply that i was, but no, not really :-P

_DM: I like your choice of name, by the way._

_~Rabbyd~: Thanks! urs is terrible..._

~Rabbyd~: wait, I chose it.

:-P

_ DM: You're so much more... Abby than usual. I didn't think that was possible._

~Rabbyd~: everyone is

_DM: I don't think I am_

_~Rabbyd~: well, theyre more... them_

~Rabbyd~: u can say anything when ur hiding behind a keyboard

~Rabbyd~: u dont risk raised eyebrows when u say crazy stuff

_DM: We'll see_

~Rabbyd~: id like to see u with ur guard down

_DM: And I you._

~Rabbyd~: ;-)

_~Rabbyd~: So, what r you wearing? :-P_

~Rabbyd~: I just got out of the shower... ok, im wearing clothes, but i still just got out of the shower!

_DM: What should I be wearing?_

_~Rabbyd~: if u wear a dirty gown more often, ull get more kisses an less hugs!_

_DM: What should I do to get both?_  
_  
~Rabbyd~: o-:_

Abby was surprised, but she recovered quickly, realizing how right she was, people really do let their guard down when they don't have to hear or see the reactions of the person they're talking to.

_~Rabbyd~: All you had to do was ask :-P _

_~Rabbyd~: i was meant to b bowling 2nite, theyre probably finished by now_

_~Rabbyd~: I really wanted to go, im getting out of practice!_

~Rabbyd~: I'll go next week no matter what case we have!

_DM; We both know that's not true_

~Rabbyd~: ur right :-P

_~Rabbyd~: hey! were both free now_

~Rabbyd~: will u go bowling with me?

~Rabbyd~: please?

_DM: I'd be happy to accompany you._

_DM: I'll get ready and pick you up soon._

_~Rabbyd~: ok! ill put pants on!_

* * *

A short while later, Abby was greeted by a normal, respectable, gentlemanly Ducky. His cheerfulness was the only hint that their online conversation had been real.

They chatted happily in the car, with no suggestion of anything unusual. Abby suspected that Ducky had fallen to the charm of the internet conversation. Flirting online is so easy and natural, it doesn't feel like real life, so it isn't. She realized that although it meant he probably had no interest in her, which was disappointing, it also meant that he must have been really very relaxed online... Which could be more fun in future.

They pulled up at the bowling alley.

"This is gonna be fun" she said excitedly.

"That it is." He smiled back at her.

* * *

Despite being a very good player, Abby was very much off her game, she fumbled and failed, but giggled and took it well. Ducky, on the other hand, played embarrassingly well, and took it fairly poorly. By the end of two games they'd both had enough of bowling, but not of each other.

"You know I let you win"

"I don't doubt it"

"You should, I'm lying!"

"I know" He pushed her playfully, not at all expecting the harder push he got back.

"You know what we should do?"

"What should we do?

"Pancakes! We should find pancakes!"

"Oh, my dear, I'm not sure that pancakes are made at this hour"

"I am! I'll take you"

He happily submitted to being pulled down the street toward a very nice looking 1930s style diner.

They were seated in a booth and, quite quickly, brought pancakes. Abby attacked hers hungrily while Ducky was, as always, more polite. Coffee and conversation flowed easily, but in the back of Abby's mind was a totally separate narrative.

_Ohh, his leg just brushed against mine! Did I just whimper a little? Have to not do that! Pretty sure he didn't notice. Wow, if I don't get my heart rate down, I'm gonna have to blame the coffee... Ooo, that's a good idea, doing that. _

_Oh god, he did it again. He can't know he's doing it, surely. Ohh, even if he doesn't know, I wish he'd do it more! Oh, wow, my chest goes all tight when he looks at me, I haven't felt like this in years!_

After coffee and casual conversation started to get old, they slowly moved to leave. Even through the coffee, they were both sleepy. Abby had been subconsciously inching closer, while consciously inching away. Subconscious was winning, but only by a little. Finally, as the were leaving, she found the courage.

"Um... Ducky? Are you really sleepy too?"

"I am actually, why do you ask?"

"We don't have to drive all the way back to my place... If I could sleep in your spare room...?"

"Of course!" He put his arms around her and kissed her forehead "You're always welcome, you know that."

* * *

When they got back to the house, they made the bed together, playfully fighting over the sheets and throwing pillows. When she came back the bathroom, in what she'd decided would pass for pajamas, he was just coming in with spare blankets. She hopped into bed and looked up at him expectantly. He threw the blankets one by one over the bed until she was happily, warmly nestled. She gently, ever so subtly motioned for him to approach her. When he did she hugged him and whispered in his ear.

"Thank you"

He shifted, still hugging her, brushing his cheek against hers, whether consciously or not, he breathed softly in her ear before whispering

"You're very welcome"

She shivered a little, trying hard not to whimper, as he pulled away. He squeezed her hand then walked to the door, saying goodnight softly, sincerely, before closing the door and walking upstairs. Both applauding and regretting his own self control.

He lay in bed, knowing that tired as he was, he wouldn't sleep. He was surprised to hear his phone beep, although less surprised when he saw the sender.

_Abby: I had a great night, thank you :-)_

_As did I, we may have to do this more often. _

_Abby: I agree on one condition: you let me stay again, this is nice. _

_Of course, you know you're always welcome._

_Abby: Will you tuck me in again next time?_

_Yes, any time you like. _

_Abby: Any time?_

_Abby: How about now?_

He could have argued, he could have given a polite answer, he could have brushed it off, he could have refused to believe it. So he told himself all the way down the stairs, but he didn't really believe himself. As he nervously opened the door to the guest room, she looked genuinely surprised to see him, surprised and very pleased. She pulled the covers back and silently invited him in, then gently put both arms around him.

"Abby are you certain about this?"

"Very. Are you?"

"Ohh yes..."

He was cut off by her lips softly brushing his. He pulled her close and moaned as they kissed for the first time, slowly, gently exploring each other.

They spent much of the night doing what Abby would later call "making out like teenagers".

There would be time for mature, sensible conversation (and several other adult activities) later, but after e-flirting and random midnight pancakes, this was not that time.


End file.
